A Short History of the Norse Occupation of Dublin for Bostonians
Viking history for Saint Patrick’s Day over at McSweeney’s! Go ahead, click on the link. I double dog dare you.
Hail and welcome to Scandinavian Aggression! This website is devoted to promoting the glorious (and oftentimes not so glorious) deeds of the modern Vikings who oar-threshed and sword-stormed their way through the epic, medieval warfare of the Modern Viking Movement.
If you haven't pressed your browser's back button yet, you can use the menu to the right to discover exhilarating accounts of modern Viking anger management issues, transcriptions of Viking job interview rage, and Viking self help reference materials. Also, if you like alcohol, be sure to click here. Last (and probably least), you can also learn about my book, a perpetual work in progress of scholarly oral history.
Anyway, thanks for bothering to visit. I skål to your health,
—Rowdy Geirsson
A Short History of the Norse Occupation of Dublin for Bostonians
March 17th, 2010Irish Glory
March 13th, 2010
Normally I don’t condone Viking defeats, but I’m always willing to make an exception when it involves beer, especially when it involves Irish beer during this particular time of year!
Legbiter Ale is brewed by Strangford Lough Brewing Company and is dedicated to King Magnus Barefoot of Norway, who sailed to Ireland to monger war, conquer, pillage, and die in battle (click the photo to go to the brewery’s website). He is said to be buried near Saint Patrick in County Down, Northern Ireland.
More information about Viking history in Ireland (particularly as it relates to Bostonians) shall be posted here on Wednesday the 17th if all goes according to plan.
Sláinte/skål!
Norwegian Scientists Find That Monkeys Are Precisely 3 Times Better Than Leprechauns
February 26th, 2010Those Norwegians are at it again!
Norwegian Scientists Find That Monkeys Are Precisely 3 Times Better than Leprechauns
This time hails and skåls go out to Cavalier Literary Couture. And yes “couture” may just be one of the least-Viking words out there, but we won’t hold that against them. Their site has an attractive look and the editors clearly have the still north in their hearts and hill winds in their veins. Also check out the Dead Beat Dad Writes the Birthday Invitations for some good humor.
The Watch
February 18th, 2010Why do some guys seem to enjoy strutting around naked in the locker room so much? I’ve never understood this. And it’s usually the old, wrinkly guys who are the main culprits. They just stand around chatting, letting it all hang out, taking up valuable floor space, and altogether just delaying the much-needed re-clothing process. Recently, I even saw one guy washing his socks in the locker room sink while naked. Why? I mean seriously, why? …Hail Onwards »
Lo There Do I See Historical Viking Fiction
February 8th, 2010This is a pretty impressive directory of Viking-related historical fiction novels:
http://www.historicalnovels.info/Medieval-Scandinavia.html
And to make matters even more stimulating, that list doesn’t even include tangentially-Viking historical fiction, such as Bernard Cornwell’s highly arousing Saxon Tales. There’s a whole ‘nother directory specifically devoted to medieval Anglo-Saxon historical fiction on the site, as well as directories for many other time periods/geographic locations. Hail Margaret Donsbach!
A Short History of the Norse Colonization of Greenland for Bostonians
January 29th, 2010A Short History of the Norse Colonization of Greenland for Bostonians is pretty much as its name applies. Don’t click the link if you don’t like profanity.
Skål to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency!
Bladder-Voiding Fear and the Threat of Viking Force
January 28th, 2010Trond Troll-Breath slammed his beer down on the table, bent close so that he came face-to-face with the stubborn child, and, with ale-tinged spittle flying, roared:
“You eat your slice of pizza now or so help me Odin I will jam it so far down your throat that my fist will be coming out your ass! You’ll be so tightly wrapped around my arm that I’ll be forced to wear you as padding against my shield the next time I go to battle! The last thing that you’ll ever hear will be the sound of my crazed screams for more slaughter as the battle-rage sweeps over me from where I stand in the shield wall …Hail Onwards »
The Voyage of the Short Serpent
January 21st, 2010
Rather than epic and badass, I would describe The Voyage of the Short Serpent by twisted Frenchman, Bernard du Boucheron, as short and quirky. It’s a funky little story about an Icelandic mission sent to Greenland during its final days of Norse inhabitation. Lots of gruesome ongoings take place in the decaying Greenlandic colony which makes for an interesting read. Not the greatest fiction novel about Norsemen and women, but a unique one.
Click here to go to its official page at The Overlook Press’ website. (Note: the publisher’s description is wrong; the novel is set in Greenland, not Iceland.)
End It Like a Viking
January 4th, 2010In keeping with the global theme of expressing false hope for a good new year, I decided to kick off 2010 with a more upbeat and positive posting than is usual here at the world’s most obscure and futile website devoted to promoting modern Viking glory: by talking about scarring, emotionally devastating break-up scenarios. …Hail Onwards »
Celebrate the Solstice with John Bauer
December 21st, 2009
“Holy shit, Tyr just stuck his hand in the wolf’s mouth!…Sweet.”
That, I think, is the effect John Bauer was going for in this piece. He was really good at this sort of thing, and it’s unfortunate that he’s dead. But then that’s just one of the natural side effects of being born over 100 years ago, regardless of whether you drown in a boat accident or not. Visit Art Passions or the John Bauer Museum to discover some more of his amazing artwork featuring scenes from Norse mythology and Swedish folklore.
Slaughter the Parents, part 3
December 8th, 2009I was standing in line at the post office watching the stupid little kid molest the automatic stamp-dispensing machine. The child-molester was having a grand ole time, fondling the poor machine’s buttons, probing its slots, and slapping its knobs like a domineering sadist, but the machine didn’t like it and beeped several times to indicate its displeasure at this sort of physical harassment. That’s when the child-molester’s father finally intervened, “Whoa there, champ, molest that machine gently.” …Hail Onwards »
Vikings Didn’t Seek Self-Validation through Social Media
November 10th, 2009Check out this ridiculous bullshit:
Almveig Egilsdottir is milking the cows. Again.
Thor’s Day at 0615
Knut Bjørnsson is wondering why he bothered signing up for the
plundringtåg in Frisia in the first place.
Odin’s Day at 2258
Inga Eriksdottir Oh no! Is everything ok? Miss you…:-/
Odin’s Day at 2321
Hrafn Bleary-eyes Dude, that sucks…come home wealthy.
Odin’s Day at 2358
Olafr the Sly just won two goats in a duel!
Odin’s Day at 2033
4 Norse people like this. …Hail Onwards »
All aboard the Dundertåg
October 20th, 2009Radio-friendly 80’s style hardish rock from Stockholm with Swedish lyrics.
Vad fint!
Slaughter the Parents, part 2
October 7th, 2009The hideous beast of a woman splayed the infants’ legs apart and scraped away at the mushy mess of fresh feces while the sick smell radiated outward, gagging those unfortunate enough to be …Hail Onwards »
