In which crimson colored ego-erections serve as the primary link between Egil Skallagrimsson, Eirik Bloodaxe, and Southie.
An Informal Conversation about Ancient Norse Poetry at a Bar in Boston
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Hail and welcome to Scandinavian Aggression! This site is mainly about the modern Vikings' clashes with 21st century societal norms and my feeble attempts to chronicle them, but also contains other drivel such as: •Accounts of modern Viking anger management issues •Short sagas published elsewhere on the web •Viking self help reference materials •A Viking booze directory •Viking history lessons for Bostonians |
There's more useless stuff beyond that listed above, too. Explore using the menu to the right, or go ahead and click your browser's back button now. Whatever. In any event, thanks for bothering to visit. I skål to your health,
—Rowdy Geirsson
An Informal Conversation about Ancient Norse Poetry at a Bar in Boston
February 1st, 2012Almost Självmord
January 28th, 2012Scandinavians stopped going a-Viking nearly 1000 years ago. Heavy drinking, the harrying of coastal settlements, epic battles on land and at sea, elaborate public poetic recitations: it was all in a day’s work if you were a Viking, and it is now all gone, gone, gone (well, except for the heavy drinking—that activity endures the test of time with flying colors). But with Viking behavior having been repressed for a millennium, what are thrill-seeking sons of Scandinavian farmers to do nowadays?
Well, Espen Fadnes found a solution: jump off a cliff overlooking a Norwegian fjord. Skål to such glorious deeds!
Cannibalism is Good, Clean Fun
January 16th, 2012
Which is not to say that cannibalism is the only theme that the Barbarian Lord series by Matt Smith deals with, but it gives you a good idea of the sort of warped humor that the comic draws upon. Naturally, I condone this sort of thing, especially when it also deals with matters of Norse inspiration and has slick illustrations, as is the case here. Those of you familiar with the old sagas will also enjoy the wry humor in the series’ dialogue. Like take the time when, after several complaints regarding much unwarranted human slaughter and dismemberment are filed against Barbarian Lord at the local thing, one of his victims simply states that “He is hard to get along with.”
Such is the sort of reckless violence that legends are made of.
A Brief Introduction to Norse Economic Policy for Bostonians
December 16th, 2011A Brief Introduction to Norse Economic Policy for Bostonians
Yet another piece of educational programming from Southie.
Down with the Sun
December 9th, 2011It’s that time of the year again when those of us living in the northern hemisphere are plunged into darker and darker days as midwinter approaches. Fortunately, we don’t have to live in total darkness or contend with fire indoors because we now live in an era that uses the miracle of electricity to light up our depressing office spaces, our totalitarian schools, and our decrepit apartments. But imagine if we didn’t. That may be hard to do, so take a look at this cool picture from northern Sweden. Sure, it’s a modern image, but the setting has a quality about it that makes it look like it came from an earlier period of time. I mean, this looks exactly like the sort of place where you might find a bunch of medieval warriors sitting around a bigass wooden table beside a fire, guzzling mead and feasting on roasted magical boar. Oh, and the northern lights look amazing, too.
And while we’re on the topic of the sun going away, no one expresses that sentiment better than Insomnium:
A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 2
November 28th, 2011A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 2
Ethelred the Unready, Svein Forkbeard, and Cnut the Great, oh my!
A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 1
November 21st, 2011The classiest way possible to learn about Viking mayhem in England, circa 1000 years ago:
A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 1
Viking Beer Goes Organic
October 15th, 2011
When I think of USDA certified organic products, the first thing that comes to mind is Viking beer with a solid 9.7% alcoholic content. That’s right, it’s not fruit, it’s not vegetables, and it’s definitely not granola that first comes to mind, but Viking beer. And this is entirely thanks to the Eel River Brewing Company out in California. They have changed the way I think, so to them I must skål!
Lava Field Gone Berserk
September 26th, 2011Remember that old story about the two berserkers who cut a road through an Icelandic lava field only to get lured into a trap sauna and murdered afterwards? Of course you do; it’s the stuff legends are made of. And thankfully for those of us not living in Iceland, we can at least see pictures of this majestic saga crime scene.
See, Berserkjahraun is real. That’s just how badass Iceland is. How many other countries can claim to possess signage for actually existing berserker lava fields? The photo is courtesy of Erik Johansson.
I stole this one from wikimedia.
Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden
August 31st, 2011One time Björn Svensson got plastered and told me about a dream that he had of an angry boner that had instructed him to decapitate the Little Mermaid. Well, I wrote this story down, and the good folks over at Jersey Devil Press have just decided to make this embarrassing little incident public. Check it out if you care to:
Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden
Also of interest may be my earlier historical account of the renegade Norwegian whalers that receives mention in this new one. It’s hosted over at Word Riot:
And lastly, here’s a peek at what Swedish islanders think that life on Tjörn is all about:
Great Goats of Thor!
August 22nd, 2011
Check out Thor in the picture above: he’s riding his chariot and he looks totally pissed, but his goats seem oblivious to his rage. It’s probably best for them that they are, being as that they have a tendency to lead him straight towards violent confrontations with giants, and sometimes even get eaten by Thor himself. I suppose it’s all in a day’s work of being a mythological goat. …Hail Onwards »
Sacrificial Swedish Murder
July 29th, 2011 |
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English translations of Scandinavian mystery novels are all the rage these days. Every time I walk through the mystery section of a bookstore, there’s another new translation of another well known (at least within his/her own country) Scandinavian author’s work whom the American publisher claims to be “THE NEXT STIEG LARSSON!!!!!!!” Though I personally feel that’s a bit deceptive on the publishers’ parts, since all signs suggest they aren’t really throwing around the same amount of cash to convince people to buy the novels of Arnaldur Indridason or Johan Theorin as they did for those of the late Mr. Larsson. I guess I just find it amusing that the most popular Scandinavian book series was also the most heavily marketed prior to/during its release, but don’t get me started on the shallow and fickle behavior of the publishing industry (you can check out Max Barry’s blog for more on that topic).
No, my intention with this entry is to highlight several Swedish novels that feature—yes, you guessed it—gruesome, ancient Norse-style sacrificial murders! See, the people of the Scandinavian countries are a little more in tune with the ancient rites of human sacrifice than those of us here in the states are, plus it makes for good mystery novel material. I have read three that deal with this subject matter:
Silently Sits the God by Anna Jansson is my favorite of the three. It takes place in Uppsala, home of Sweden’s former heathen ritualistic center and the god referred to in the title is, of course, Odin. It’s a pretty engaging read and more exciting than the other two, which makes the situation particularly unfortunate that it is the only one of the three to have not yet been translated into English. But that will probably happen within another couple years or so based current trends. …Hail Onwards »
Standardized Tests Should be Blood Eagled
July 6th, 2011Standardized tests are antithetical to Vikings in every way possible. Vikings didn’t need to lock themselves in a room and scribble down dots or click on computerized answers to multiple choice questions before they were allowed to go and wreak the fuck out of wherever they felt like sailing to. No, they just went and did it; they wouldn’t have been Vikings if they hadn’t. There was no need nor tolerance for some higher, elitist entity to give them divine permission to do what they knew in their hearts was the right thing for them to do. …Hail Onwards »
Victorious March!
June 16th, 2011
I’m not sure whether this painting is saying, “We are coming to destroy everything in our path!” or “We have just destroyed everything in our path!”, but either way, if this isn’t a victorious march of some sort, then I don’t know what is. John Charles Dollman wasn’t dicking around when he painted these Vikings 100 years ago. He imbued them with noble glory, and that glory still lives on today, even though most people don’t even know it exists. There’s a lot to lament about in that statement, but rather than spiral downward into an eternal pit of despair, why don’t we take a look at another victorious march while we’re on that topic:
Or this one, which is what inspired me to post an entry relating to victorious marches today of all days anyway in the first place. It just goes to show, that in some cases, despair is not always eternal!
(I pilfered the photo from the Boston Globe’s honorable photo montage.)
A Short History of the Norse Invasion of Normandy for Bostonians
June 6th, 2011A Short History of the Norse Invasion of Normandy for Bostonians
A little history about Normandy on the anniversary of D-Day, Boston-style.
