Trond “Troll-Breath” Trondsen is the most Viking of the modern Vikings. He has absolutely no patience for bullshit, which is a disastrous attribute when it comes to job interviewing situations.
Human Resources Cock Mongrel: Hi Trond, nice to meet you. Come right on in and take a seat.
Trond “Troll-Breath” Trondsen: Thanks, nice to meet you, too.
HRCM: Have any trouble finding the place?
TTT: No, not really.
HRCM: That’s good, that’s good. So, Trond, why don’t we get right down to business. Why do you want to work here?
[Trond chortles and rolls his eyes.]
HRCM: Is something funny?
TTT: I was just laughing at your joke was all. It was pretty good.
HRCM: I’m afraid it wasn’t a joke, Trond. I’d like you to answer that question.
TTT: You’re serious?
HRCM: Yes, I am. Please tell me why you wish to work here.
TTT: Well, why the fuck do you think? Because I need a mother-fucking paycheck. Nobody just applies for a job because they think it will be fun. Get real. And here I thought you were just being funny.
HRCM: Uh…I beg your pardon?
TTT: You heard right. This is all bullshit. I’ll prove I can do the job if you want to talk about that, but don’t waste my time dicking around with pointless bullshit questions. They’re not constructive for you and they’re sure as hell not constructive for me.
HRCM: Well, I’m not sure what to tell you, Trond.
TTT: You don’t have to tell me anything. We both know you’re just asking them because it’s what’s expected of you. They’re not relevant at all. You probably haven’t had an independent thought in years. You’re wasting my time.
HRCM: Actually, I’ve only asked one question so far, but seeing how you feel, I must say I’m going to have a very difficult time recommending you as a good fit for our organization. I suggest—
TTT [standing up]: Give it a rest. This interview is fucking over.
[Trond angrily flips the desk over in the Human Resources Cock Mongrel's face and storms out without saying another word.]
Duration of Interview: 1 minute, 20 seconds.
Outcome: Not hired, but dignity still intact.
Tags: job frustration, Troll-Breath, urination