Meet the Heroes

Every movement has its key players, those specific individuals who are most responsible for furthering their shared ideals and innovating the ways in which we think about the world. From Jesus to Erik the Red to Ozzy Osbourne, revolutionary figures have always left their mark on history’s most pivotal moments, and when it comes to the Modern Viking Movement, only three names are worthy of adding to that list.

Trond “Troll-Breath” Trondsen is the archetypical Norwegian Viking playboy. He lives with his harem in his posh pad deep in the fjords of his home country where he runs an illegal shoe production company (which he initially funded via plundering). As the leader of the whalers-turned-Vikings who mercilessly sacked the gift shop at Lindisfarne, he is generally considered to be the father of the Modern Viking Movement. Trond is also the subject of my short work, Welcome to the Mead Hall, published online at Word Riot.

Björn Svensson became the most influential warrior-poet the world has ever seen when he started reciting popular rock lyrics at the sites of his infamous berserkings. (Mis)guided by the Allfather himself, Svennson wages war against his timeless enemies in Denmark. Learn more about his hardcore drinking habits in Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden, published online at Jersey Devil Press.

Ingrid Törnblom is extremely hot. She is so hot, in fact, that it is nearly impossible to think about anything other than her amazingly hot body when you’re around her, even when she is talking about really interesting things such as rape and pillage. Formerly a Swedish architect, her myriad of experiences served her well when she decided to found the Honvikings, an elite organization that drew comparisons to the Spartans of ancient Greece, the Samurai of feudal Japan, and most flattering of all, the Jedi Knights of the Intergalactic Republic. You can read more about her stunning personality in my ramble, Getting to Know Ingrid Törnblom.