What the hell is the Modern Viking Movement?
This is probably the first question most people will ask. Simply put, the Modern Viking Movement is the term that has come to refer to the collective violence that spewed forth from Scandinavia shortly after the turn of the new millennium. The reasons for this sudden and drastic change in the Scandinavian political climate are numerous and complicated and you will have to refer to my forthcoming book, The Scandinavian Aggressors (if it ever gets published), for a full treatise on the subject, but suffice it to say that the Scandinavians just simply couldn’t take the peace any longer and their “inner Viking demons” finally broke free after 1000 years of relative solitude.
The collective Scandinavian psyche officially collapsed when a group of Norwegian whalers sacked the gift shop of the monastery at Holy Island of Lindisfarne for no apparent reason. This act essentially opened the floodgates for other Vikings to follow suite as the entire North Atlantic succumbed to the Norse menace for the duration of the summer. During this time evil trolls were vanquished, retarded dragons were brutally slain, peaceful skraelings were harassed, and lots of booty of both types was forcibly acquired. The Movement ended abruptly when a great heathen army was met with a highly embarrassing defeat at Stamford Bridge.
Why the hell should I care about the Modern Viking Movement?
This is probably the second question most people will ask. The answer is about education. How long will the world continue to live in ignorance of the modern Vikings?
How the hell do you know so much about the Modern Viking Movement?
I was unemployed awhile back and took a very risky gamble. I bought a one-way plane ticket to Oslo where I began to retrace the steps of the modern Vikings in the hopes of finding and interviewing them. This journey and these interviews form the basis of my forthcoming book.
Is Rowdy Geirsson your real name?
No, I made it up.
So, when is this book coming out anyway? Is there even a book or is that made up, too?
That is a good question. There is a book but it’s currently in a state of unpublished limbo and constant revision. This website has actually grown out of what was originally a shameless, barebones attempt to promote my manuscript online with publishers and agents. The sad reality is that publishers and agents get very, very flaccid at the mere thought of taking a chance on a previously unpublished nobody, unless the nobody happens to be a manufactured pop music whore with a ghost writer.
How can I contact you?
You can register with this site or contact me through Facebook. I can also be reached at rowdy[at]scandinavianaggression.com (here’s hoping the spambots don’t find me and plunder my sanity…). Hailings are always welcome.