Posts Tagged ‘beer’

True Corporate Black Metal

Monday, January 23rd, 2017

It’s 2017 now and there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world, which means it’s high time to address the crucial and critically important question: what would happen if you combined a corporate office environment with a diehard black metal dude? The topic is a mystery for the ages and a clear deviation from my usual, unhealthy obsession with Vikings, but it’s one that’s still aggressive and still Scandinavian. Read more about it here on McSweeney’s:

I Bring the Soul-Defiling Spirit of True Norwegian Black Metal to Our Corporate Office Environment

And while we’re on the topic of true metal, I recently had the chance to visit Trve Brewing in Denver, where they combine tasty craft brews with the ambience and ethos of metal. What’s not to like about that? Check out the photo that I took of their beer menu and the two graphic images of their labels that I pilfered off their own website:

Live Free and Drink Hard

Saturday, December 12th, 2015

One of the few redeeming qualities about this obscure, little website is its dedication to the discovery and promotion of Viking-themed alcoholic beverages. Despite being the hardest drinkers known to both human history and Eddic poetry, Norsemen that actually grace the labels of bottles of booze are unfortunately fairly hard to come by in the 21st century. It’s usually a pretty rare occasion when I stumble upon a new specimen worthy of photographing (poorly) and then uploading into the great black abyss of cyberspace. It’s even more rare when said specimen hails from the shores of Norumbega, so naturally I felt that special rush of excitement that only the Vikings/alcohol combo-pack can deliver when I discovered Kelsen Brewing Company’s fine line of Norse/Tolkien/medieval inspired brewskies.

The Battle-Axe IPA is shown here, but they also have a Draken Robust Porter, a Vendel Imperial Stout, a Vinatta Russian Imperial Stout (‘Vinatta’ being the Norse word for friendship), and a Paradigm Brown Ale (for those who prefer doing their drinking with the dwarves). Not all their styles feature a Norse or medieval theme, but they’re on the right track. On a more serious note, they’re basically just a solid, little craft brewery doing good work from their home base in the state with the most Viking motto of the entire nation.

Brewsky of the North

Monday, September 21st, 2015

There’s no better way to start the week off right than by rolling out of bed Monday morning and popping open a cold, refreshing Icelandic craft brew courtesy of the Einstök Beer Company. Located in Akureyri, along the island’s north shore near the Arctic Circle, Einstök brews a variety of beer styles that are gradually making their presence felt over here in Vinland. With any luck, Einstök will be luckier than Leif the Lucky was in his day and remain here in Vinland for many years to come. I was personally lucky enough to recently find a batch and enjoy its clean, glacially-derived alcoholic contents. There’s just something about drinking a well-crafted beer from the land of fire and ice that helps you get by. And the logo is pretty damn badass, too.

Keeping It Real at Aifur

Friday, February 20th, 2015

Stockholm is a magical place where they have a Viking restaurant and bar that actually strives for authenticity. Normally this kind of thing would be totally gimmicky and feel like a themed version of a Chuck E. Cheese; anyone over age 10 would stand out in a sad way if they weren’t there with a younger family member. Not so at Aifur. At Aifur it’s different. They’ve done their research to make the setting cozy and believable. The staff dress in garb appropriate to the setting and time period. The menu is based on archaeological records regarding the types of animals the Norse ate, and the types of spices they used to make those animals taste better. The drink menu consists of an extensive list of Nordic beers and meads, which alone is enough to make me excited. Throw in everything else I just mentioned, and it’s like Aifur goes to 11 when everyone else only goes to 10.

Check out their “about” page in English for more info:
http://www.aifur.se/en_about.

And below is their booze menu!

Icelandic Lava Beer

Friday, June 28th, 2013

 photo lavabeer_zps01b3df40.png Finally! The Icelanders have begun smoking their beer (in addition to smoking their whales and their puffins). I personally can’t think of a more befitting national, Viking-appropriate meal for Iceland than one composed of smoked endangered animal, smoked cute little penguin-type thing, and smoked beer inspired by volcanic eruptions. How could you possibly go wrong with all those items sitting on your table all at the same time? The answer is: you can’t.

Plus it’s 9.4%, so knock yourself out with many and then go break down a door in a drunken rage. Odds are, you’ll only regret the monetary expenses, because Lava ain’t cheap.

Glory in a Bottle

Friday, May 27th, 2011

The Norsky brewers up at HaandBryggeriet are clearly modern day recipients of Odin’s wisdom and have held a cherished spot on my Viking Barley Brew list ever since I first compiled it. But they wanted to outdo themselves and so they started to age some of their brew in aquavit barrels, and the result is this Barrel-Aged Porter, complete with Norse carving decor on the label. Midgård would be a better place if there were more people like these guys out there, so skål to them!

Then on a more somber and unrelated note, the online literary magazine Bananafish recently suicided itself. This saddens me because Bananafish was one of those few sites that actually acknowledged the importance of writing about drunken leprechauns being held hostage in Viking dungeons, which is not a topic that most literary venues value. (And also the guy who ran the site seemed like a nice fellow). So, anyway, since Bananafish is now down for the count, I’ve reposted the content of my story that had been published there, and it can be found on the Encounter with a Miscreant page.

Lastly, a few parting words for the fallen Bananafish, plundered verbatim from the mighty Ville Laihiala (formerly of Sentenced):

“The shadows growing deep
We’ll be gone eternally
Our stars have fallen from the sky
Our dreams have faded into the night
No tomorrow
Not for us
Death and sorrow
Dust to dust
Dust to dust.”

Barley Wine Fit for Valhalla

Friday, October 29th, 2010
Thereupon stood the enemy host. It was a fine day with blue sky overhead. Then the two forces joined in battle and fought fiercely, nor was there need to goad them on. Much shouting followed, and a furious blowing of trumpets.

As dawn approached, Andhrimnir Barley Wine Ale said: “It seems to me this battle did not go my way.” And then slumped down and died from its wounds. Andhrimnir Barley Wine Ale is now out of this story.

So this brave warrior was crafted by Nøgne Ø, a brewery in Norway. Their site does not have any information about this particular brew, but check out some of their others. They pack a mean punch. Oh, and the name of the brew refers to Valhalla’s chef for anyone who might be wondering, so I suspect Andhrimnir Barley Wine Ale probably goes really well with resurrected roast boar.

Viking Booze Burial Mound

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Hail and skål! A substantial update to the Viking Brews and Booze directory has been made, and just in time for Friday night and Midsommar, no less. Besides the two new sub-directories of Fruity Booze (wines and ciders) and the Viking Booze Burial Mound (which celebrates the Einherjar of Viking beverages), the other sub-categories have been updated in recent weeks to include: Herslev Bryghus, Odin’s Brewing Company, Olvishult Brugghus’ Freyja Wheat Ale, Midnight Sun’s Viking Dark Strong Ale, Heidrun’s Meadery, Clontarf Whiskey, and more.

In other update news, Modern Viking Job Interview #5 ought to be going up in the next week or so. Yeah, I know. Pretty damn thrilling.

Happy midsummer!

A Short History of the Norse Founding of Russia for Bostonians

Friday, June 4th, 2010

A Short History of the Norse Founding of Russia for Bostonians

And just in time for the annual June 6th celebrations, too!

Irish Glory

Saturday, March 13th, 2010

Normally I don’t condone Viking defeats, but I’m always willing to make an exception when it involves beer, especially when it involves Irish beer during this particular time of year!

Legbiter Ale is brewed by Strangford Lough Brewing Company and is dedicated to King Magnus Barefoot of Norway, who sailed to Ireland to monger war, conquer, pillage, and die in battle (click the photo to go to the brewery’s website). He is said to be buried near Saint Patrick in County Down, Northern Ireland.

More information about Viking history in Ireland (particularly as it relates to Bostonians) shall be posted here on Wednesday the 17th if all goes according to plan.

Sláinte/skål!

SkullSplitter beer!

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007


Holy crap, it’s Viking beer! I am so excited! And really glad that I decided to stop at the liquor store on the way home today.

Brewed by the master Viking brewers of Orkney, SkullSplitter features Thorfinn Hausakluif on its label, which potentially makes it the most badass beer of all time.

Click on the image to learn more about this amazing alcoholic product.