Posts Tagged ‘berserkergång’

Djurgårdsbron: Where Silent Gods Stand Guard

Sunday, July 19th, 2015

Djurgårdsbron is a bridge in central Stockholm where Freyja, Thor, Frigg, and Heimdall stand guard…silently. Just Like in the song, only minus all the decapitations and shape-shifting into wolf-form. And for some reason Odin is missing from the entourage. But otherwise, just like in the song. And if you cross the bridge, you don’t arrive in Asgard, but rather Djurgården (essentially Swedish for “Animal Farm”…menacing, indeed), one of Stockholm’s many islands and home to, among other attractions, the official Pippi Longstocking museum (also very menacing).

The statues were created by Rolf Adlersparre while the bridge was designed by architect Erik Josephson and built by Carl Fraenell in 1897 for the world expo that took place on Djurgårdsbron the same year. The old-timey photographs look pretty hardcore, but not nearly as hardcore as medieval wolf-men wielding swords and slaying all foresworn enemies in an endless orgy of slaughter and mayhem:

On the Origins of Petalwilter

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

I decided today that the time has finally come to discuss Trond Trondsen’s sword, the illustrious Petalwilter. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Petalwilter by name before on this site, so its mere mention must be pretty exciting for the 2 or 3 of you who somehow randomly found your way here and are wondering, ”Why the fuck haven’t I clicked my browser’s back button yet?” …Hail onwards »

The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #5: Åke Nordensjö

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

The Final Installment

After much procrastination and deliberation, here at long last is the highly unanticipated final installment of the Modern Viking Job Interviews. I’m an honest guy so I can admit that this is pretty much a total non-event. In fact, it’s that same honesty that’s helped make me such a perpetual failure in the working world, since an overwhelming number of employers apparently don’t value honesty. Instead, they prefer dishonesty disguised as enthusiasm …Hail onwards »

Slaughter the Parents, part 3

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

I was standing in line at the post office watching the stupid little kid molest the automatic stamp-dispensing machine. The child-molester was having a grand ole time, fondling the poor machine’s buttons, probing its slots, and slapping its knobs like a domineering sadist, but the machine didn’t like it and beeped several times to indicate its displeasure at this sort of physical harassment. That’s when the child-molester’s father finally intervened, “Whoa there, champ, molest that machine gently.” …Hail onwards »

Retard on the MBTA

Monday, September 29th, 2008

The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority is the abysmal operator of the oldest subway system in the United States. Affectionately known as the T, it is a dark, dank, and vulgar-smelling series of tunnels, permanently unfinished construction sites, and dirty trains that screech gratingly beneath the streets of Boston.* It even went on a recent killing spree …Hail onwards »

Vehicular Viking Slaughter

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

It has recently been of considerable debate as to whether a Viking, if removed from his proper historical context and placed in our current era, would commit berserkergång with a vehicle. This thought has been implanted and nurtured by no less than the very same reasons that would potentially compel the hypothetical Viking to succumb to vehicular battle-rage …Hail onwards »

Death Metal Recital

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Recently, by means of succubine trickery and beguilement, I found myself haplessly stuck in the Middle of Nowhere, Vermont (population: insignificant) attending a ballet recital. For four countless hours I suffered through various stages of boredom and depression, flirted with insanity, and listened to the entire The Lion King soundtrack twice, because once apparently just wasn’t enough …Hail onwards »

Unleash the Long Ships!

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

The Danes and Swedes are at it yet again, this time boasting their way towards mutual enmity over the glorious claim to “Capital of Scandinavia”, as reported by the English-language Swedish news site, The Local. The Swedes initiated the spat …Hail onwards »

Napoleon Dynamite Needs to be Blood Eagled

Monday, September 24th, 2007

So, I watched that Napoleon Dynamite movie for the first time the other day. What a fucking mistake that was.

I just don’t get why people like this movie so much. Is it the dweebs? People like this movie because of the dweebs? Or maybe they like it because of the liger? …Hail onwards »