Posts Tagged ‘Björn Svensson’

Dream Hard On

Thursday, May 5th, 2016

For anyone who’s ever wondered about the demeanor of Odin’s wiener, Swedish warrior-poet turned slacker-beach-bum Björn Svensson finally sheds some light on the topic. And it turns out that ole One-Eye’s own one-eyed warrior is a feisty little dream-weaver. Horns up to Jersey Devil Press for not ruthlessly rejecting this majestic piece of thoughtfully-constructed and immaculately-researched investigative journalism:

Dream Hard On

Also, if the topics of Odin’s wiener, nightmares, heavy drinking, and heavy metal interest you, check out the precursor too:

Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden

Finally, what post about the nine worlds’ most worldly one-eyed warrior would be complete without a reminder of his immense power?

Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden

A tale of a depressed Viking, a vicious boner, the Little Mermaid, and heavy drinking.

Also, check out how most of the inhabitants of Tjörn really live:

Vikings Have No Respect for Standard Hiring Protocol

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

If I’ve gotten my chronology correct, it was The Orlando Sentinel that made such a splash last week with its report that employers are intentionally filtering unemployed applicants out of their potential hiring pools (the story having since been picked up by The Huffington Post and others). Sure, this sucks, but where’s the big surprise? Is this really that new? That’s what I don’t understand. Why are so many people (at least among those receiving mention online) so surprised? If that soulless entity known as Human Resources ever ceased to be shortsighted, it would also cease to be recognizable as Human Resources. Shortsightedness is one of the defining characteristics of Human Resources. (The others, so far as I can tell, are power-mongering, cronyism, discourteousness, and general imbecility) …Hail onwards »

The Watch

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Why do some guys seem to enjoy strutting around naked in the locker room so much? I’ve never understood this. And it’s usually the old, wrinkly guys who are the main culprits. They just stand around chatting, letting it all hang out, taking up valuable floor space, and altogether just delaying the much-needed re-clothing process. Recently, I even saw one guy washing his socks in the locker room sink while naked. Why? I mean seriously, why? …Hail onwards »

Slaughter the Parents, part 3

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

I was standing in line at the post office watching the stupid little kid molest the automatic stamp-dispensing machine. The child-molester was having a grand ole time, fondling the poor machine’s buttons, probing its slots, and slapping its knobs like a domineering sadist, but the machine didn’t like it and beeped several times to indicate its displeasure at this sort of physical harassment. That’s when the child-molester’s father finally intervened, “Whoa there, champ, molest that machine gently.” …Hail onwards »

The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #2: Björn Svensson

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Here we witness warrior-poet, Björn Svensson, as he is forced to squirm under the godforsaken spotlight of that most unholy of abominations, human resources …Hail onwards »

The Poetry of the Bladder

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

As recent events committed by certain, highly esteemed members of Scandinavian society have shown, urination can be a great form of revenge. By urinating on somebody and/or his or her possessions, you are effectively saying:

“Hey you! Get the fuck over here you fucking asshole! I fucking hate you and everything about you. I wish to choke your hopes and dreams on my smelly urine …Hail onwards »

Vehicular Viking Slaughter

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

It has recently been of considerable debate as to whether a Viking, if removed from his proper historical context and placed in our current era, would commit berserkergång with a vehicle. This thought has been implanted and nurtured by no less than the very same reasons that would potentially compel the hypothetical Viking to succumb to vehicular battle-rage …Hail onwards »