Posts Tagged ‘hockey paraphernalia’

Chiseling the Scandinavian Cheekbones

Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

So I just gave this website a major facelift, and by that I mean that there is now a very aggressive-looking, native Blue Sheep from Birka hanging out in the background off towards the right (and slightly towards the left as well, but that guy is fainter). If you look closely, you will be able to admire the finely chiseled cheekbones of the individual to the right, which is a trait he shares with the lovely Scandinavian women. You may also be able to see the killer intent in his eyes. I figure he is probably pretty good buddies with the even more hardcore Icelandic Killer Sheep:

 photo Icelandic_Killer_Sheep_zpsc3993d02.jpg

In fact, this guy is so intent on being aggressive that he goes around looking like he should probably stop trying already and just transform himself into a Norwegian black metal band instead. You used to be able to get his mugshot on t-shirts like the one pictured above, but that website seems to have been plucked away by some misguided valkyrie, though the corresponding myspace page still exists.

On a side note, I’m going to make a better effort at updating this damned blog on a regular basis again (as opposed to 1 post every 6 months). I finally got myself dislodged from the bigass boulder that I was living under since last fall and it is good to see the world again. Some sad things happened in that time (Stockholm burned, Boston bombed to name just 2) but some good, exciting things are indeed afoot: Amon Amarth is releasing a new album this month, the days are long, and the Bruins are in the finals. So, skål to summer!

Victorious March!

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

I’m not sure whether this painting is saying, “We are coming to destroy everything in our path!” or “We have just destroyed everything in our path!”, but either way, if this isn’t a victorious march of some sort, then I don’t know what is. John Charles Dollman wasn’t dicking around when he painted these Vikings 100 years ago. He imbued them with noble glory, and that glory still lives on today, even though most people don’t even know it exists. There’s a lot to lament about in that statement, but rather than spiral downward into an eternal pit of despair, why don’t we take a look at another victorious march while we’re on that topic:

Or this one, which is what inspired me to post an entry relating to victorious marches today of all days anyway in the first place. It just goes to show, that in some cases, despair is not always eternal!

(I pilfered the photo from the Boston Globe’s honorable photo montage.)

A Short History of the Norse Invasion of Normandy for Bostonians

Monday, June 6th, 2011

A Short History of the Norse Invasion of Normandy for Bostonians

A little history about Normandy on the anniversary of D-Day, Boston-style.

A Disgruntled Viking in the Workplace

Monday, September 6th, 2010

The thing about work is, it sucks, at least for most of us. The upshot is that you get paid for doing it, although that traditionally reliable characteristic seems to have been put to the test in recent years by excessive competitiveness amidst an ongoing recession, the rise of internships, and other various forms of bullshit. …Hail onwards »

Crapping My Pants

Monday, June 15th, 2009

A dude just posted info about the American VikingBall League on my facebook page.

Someone actually finally literally combined hockey with Vikings.

Can only be found in Pittsburgh so far. They apparently play on fields and courts there instead of ice, but I think this concept would adapt well to New England wintertime pond hockey with pucks. Maybe they’d let the league expand to Boston. Any takers? Come on, I know there are like 3 of you out there who live in this area too!

Retard on the MBTA

Monday, September 29th, 2008

The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority is the abysmal operator of the oldest subway system in the United States. Affectionately known as the T, it is a dark, dank, and vulgar-smelling series of tunnels, permanently unfinished construction sites, and dirty trains that screech gratingly beneath the streets of Boston.* It even went on a recent killing spree …Hail onwards »

Vehicular Viking Slaughter

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

It has recently been of considerable debate as to whether a Viking, if removed from his proper historical context and placed in our current era, would commit berserkergång with a vehicle. This thought has been implanted and nurtured by no less than the very same reasons that would potentially compel the hypothetical Viking to succumb to vehicular battle-rage …Hail onwards »

An Unfortunate Addiction to Whoredom

Monday, January 21st, 2008

The world’s addiction to whoredom really gets under my skin.

You see, I’d always thought that whoredom was something to be avoided. No little girl is supposed to want to become a whore when she grows up …Hail onwards »