Posts Tagged ‘personal shortcomings’

Death Metal Recital

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Recently, by means of succubine trickery and beguilement, I found myself haplessly stuck in the Middle of Nowhere, Vermont (population: insignificant) attending a ballet recital. For four countless hours I suffered through various stages of boredom and depression, flirted with insanity, and listened to the entire The Lion King soundtrack twice, because once apparently just wasn’t enough …Hail onwards »

Getting to Know Ingrid Törnblom

Thursday, June 7th, 2007

Usually when I think of the great Ingrid Törnblom, I start feeling randy. It’s easy to do because she is extremely fucking hot, but sometimes too much emphasis is placed on her incredibly fine body and alluring facial features. Because, besides being super fine, Ingrid Törnblom is also responsible for founding the Modern Viking Movement’s most illustrious war band …Hail onwards »

Pure Nordic Hatred, part 1

Sunday, May 6th, 2007

There are many things that I hate. To name a few: work, my cubicle at work, working in my cubicle at work, not working while in my cubicle at work, pretending to look like I’m working in my cubicle at work when I’m actually screwing around on the internet. The list goes on and on, but one of the absolutely most hated things of all …Hail onwards »

Damn, It Must Feel Good to be a Viking

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Most days I wish I were a Viking. No, fuck that. All days I wish I were a Viking and it makes me fucking angry. So angry that I would go berserk if I were a Viking, but, as I said, I’m not, and to think about that any further would be to instigate a philosophical quandary that intimidates the bejeezus out of me. So, instead, I’ll discuss a few of the pathetic reasons of why I’m not a Viking …Hail onwards »