The Modern Viking Job Interviews
Introduction
The world is receding economically and there’s all sorts of hysteria as to how well we’ll all roll with the punches, but no one is talking about the effect the recession will have on the modern Vikings. Which, of course, is not surprising, since the mainstream media typically only focuses its efforts on sensationalism and/or stories that fit comfortably within the biases of its own special interests, but even if that weren’t the case, there’d still be nothing to report on regarding the Vikings’ relation to the super shitty job market.
This is because Vikings are recession proof. There’s no need to worry about them. You don’t just plunder the hell out of Europe and then succumb a few years later to the whims of the economy. If things get a little tougher financially than the Vikings care for, then they’ll just go plunder again. Problem solved.
However, suppose—as unrealistic as this may be—that the global economic downturn could somehow actually affect the Vikings’ vast reserves of plunder and for some reason they can’t or won’t go on the offensive again. Being forced to look for regular jobs, how would they handle themselves during the obscene hell that ensues? I thought that such a speculative inquiry would be not only an enjoyable exercise of the imagination, but also a useful way to help illustrate the savage inhumanity of the human resources industry.
Thus, the following is a list of transcripts of speculative interviews featuring poor Viking souls as they rustle and tumble with a typical Human Resources Cock Mongrel. Now, don’t get me wrong. This Cock Mongrel isn’t a supervisor for the positions in question; that level of relevance would be too flattering. This Cock Mongrel is just your standard department of human resources hiring moron whose sole pleasure in life seemingly derives from randomly selecting a scant few job applicants for interviewing and then getting in the way of both job seeker and job supervisor, making matters as difficult as possible for both parties. Because, in reality, that’s what human resources is all about.
The Modern Viking Job Interviews:
- The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #5: Åke Nordensjö
- The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #4: Ingrid Törnblom
- The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #3: Jocke Björler
- The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #2: Björn Svensson
- The Modern Viking Job Interviews, #1: Trond "Troll-Breath" Trondsen
