What the hell is the Modern Viking Movement?
This is probably the first question most people will ask. Simply put, the Modern Viking Movement is the term that has come to refer to the collective violence that spewed forth from Scandinavia during the summer of 2004. The reasons for this sudden and drastic change in the Scandinavian political climate are numerous and complicated and you will have to refer to the introduction of my forthcoming book, The Scandinavian Aggressors: An Oral History of the Modern Viking Movement, for a full treatise on the subject, but suffice it to say that the Scandinavians just simply couldn't take the peace any longer and their "inner Viking demons" finally broke free after 1000 years of relative solitude.
The Scandinavian psyche officially collapsed on June 8th when a group of Norwegian whalers sacked the Holy Island of Lindisfarne for no apparent reason. This act essentially opened the floodgates for other Vikings to follow suite as the entire North Atlantic succumbed to the Norse menace for the duration of the summer. During this time evil trolls were vanquished, retarded dragons were brutally slain, peaceful skraelings were harassed, and lots of booty of both types was forcibly acquired. The Movement ended abruptly on September 25th when a giant Viking army was met with a highly embarrassing defeat at Stamford Bridge.
Why the hell should I care about the Modern Viking Movement?
This is probably the second question most people will ask. The answer is simply a humanitarian matter. It's about spreading awareness. How long will the world close its eyes to the atrocities committed by the Vikings five years ago?
How the hell do you know so much about the Modern Viking Movement?
I spent two and a half years studying it extensively. I have scoured local Scandinavian newspaper databases (these are essentially the only media sources that devoted any earnest coverage to the Movement; all others simply processed the events and presented them as the usual manufactured sensationalism) for information relating to the Vikings' nefarious doings. I have also visited the locales and witnessed firsthand the destruction wrought by the Vikings. But, most importantly, I have spent countless hours interviewing the actual Vikings themselves. These interviews form the basis of my forthcoming book.
Is Rowdy Geirsson your real name?
No, I made it up.
So, when is this book coming out anyway? Is there even a book or is that made up, too?
That is a good question. There is a book but it's currently in a state of unpublished limbo, which is the main reason for this website's existence (shameless, I know, I can admit it). Rest assured that any news that develops on that front will be posted here immediately.
Why an oral history?
Oral histories are simply much more interesting than traditional histories. When you read an oral history, you are granted a deeper look at the human elements in the events described. For example, any fool knowledgeable of the Modern Viking Movement can tell you in cut and dry fashion that Trond "Troll-Breath" Trondsen started it all with his unanticipated sack on Lindisfarne, but only Troll-Breath himself can tell you exactly what thoughts were going through his head during the sacking. Who wouldn't be interested to learn that it was actually a troublesome nose hair that instigated the whole affair? That's not the kind of thing you learn from a traditional history book.
How can I contact you?
Please send all questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org You can also drop me a message on myspace or facebook
All material copyright © 2007-2008 Rowdy Geirsson