Welcome to my Viking Self Help Guide! The purpose of this addition to Scandinavian Aggression is simple: to help those in need. Most of the time I just selfishly fuss about myself, as anyone who reads my rambles can attest. It usually goes something like this:

          "I hate work...

          I said that I hate work, goddammit...

          Hey, check out my book...

          Why the fuck am I still in this cubicle!?! I hate this. Why won't anybody take me
          seriously? Please, please...ahhh, goddammit, now I'm begging..."

Indeed, we live in a world that is truly cruel and absurd. Fortunately, I have discovered a highly satisfying way to deal with it all: by drifting away to a blissfully detached Viking mental state. Sure, this may seem like little consolation in comparison to the actual deed of sacking unsuspecting coastal settlements, but, unfortunately for our sakes, the Viking era ended some 1,000 years ago. And sadly the Modern Viking Movement was very short-lived. Perhaps we'll see another in our lifetimes. Perhaps we won't. I for one am doubtful, and that is why I feel that going a-Viking in your head is currently the best alternative that we've got (that won't also result in long term imprisonment).

Some of you may already be familiar with what I'm talking about. For others this may all be very new to you and that's okay; that's why I'm here to help. The euphoria of Viking mental detachment is available to all (although those shackled by the burdens of despair, frustration, and an archaic yet dignified sense of honor have a definite head start). And so my advice is simple: equip yourself with the proper Viking outfitting. Nothing combats the pointless banality of modern life like the proper Viking outfitting. You can channel your thoughts of frustration and despair towards Viking mental euphoria without it, but it's just simply not as satisfying; you'll definitely feel better about yourself if you're properly equipped when your mind starts to wander.

The world's current selection of Viking outfitting is not as robust as it once was, but even so, there are still many options worthy of your consideration. The quest for your own personal favorites may take some time as you discover new and exciting items (mixing and matching is fun), and that is a standard and enjoyable part of the experience. My own suggestions may be found by clicking on the buttons at the top of this page; I don't claim them to be comprehensive, but I do hope that they serve as a helpful starting point for those in need.

All material copyright © 2007 Rowdy Geirsson