Lessons for Norse Youth Forgotten

I’ve been wondering lately if the Norsemen raised their impressionable young children with such dogmatic life-lessons as these:

“You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up as long as you put your mind to it.”

“Learn to read and write and do arithmetic well so that you can get a good job.”

“Patience is a virtue. If you keep at something long enough, your efforts will eventually pay off.”

“School is the ticket to success.”

“Share the toys.”

My hunch is that the answer is a resounding “no” and that Norse lessons were more inclined to be along the lines of:

“You can either rape, pillage, and slaughter, or get raped, pillaged, and slaughtered.”

“Learn to use this weapon properly so you don’t get taken as a slave.”

“No one can escape his or her fate. You’re going to die whenever the norns decreed it and there’s nothing you can do about it, so live life to the fullest while you still can.”

“Fast rowing is the ticket to success.”

“Share the mead.”

It’s interesting, really. Good intentions certainly aren’t a bad thing in my book, but it’s funny how those of the first scenario have helped pave the road to our contemporary, immaterial hell of mounting debts, insanely competitive submissiveness to the despotism of the system, bizarrely willful credulity towards overtly biased propaganda, and my personal favorite, lifelong emotional dejection. By comparison, the harsh realism and fatalism of the second scenario bred a culture that effectively bitch-slapped medieval Europe for roughly 300 years.

Damn, those Norsemen were smart.


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One Response to “Lessons for Norse Youth Forgotten”

  1. Orlaingunn says:

    Love it!!!!!! Maybe we should all revert to Norse parenting!!!!

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