Bastards of a Lying Breed; or I Don’t Know Why Human Resources Says Goodbye, I Say Hello

“Think of what you’re saying,
You can get it wrong and still you think that it’s all right.
Think of what I’m saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.

We can work it out.
We can work it out.

Life is very short, and there’s no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that’s it’s a crime,
So I will ask you once again.”*

Good relationship advice for any emotionally insecure individual who prefers detrimentally running away from his/her problems rather than cooperating productively, but I also think that these words embody the attitude that many people develop towards the pursuit of happiness after his/her youthful, naive optimism wears off but before he/she gets completely psychologically broken by the futility of the ongoing struggle to find lasting fulfillment in modern life.

Perhaps I’m just speaking for myself here, but based on personal experiences and observations, it seems to be a pretty common mental evolution for many who came/are coming of age in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. And this is how it usually all goes down…

Prior to the aforementioned Lennon/McCartney pragmatism, you typically start out totally gung-ho and full-speed ahead, laying yourself on the line:

“If there’s anything that you want,
If there’s anything I can do,
Just call on me and I’ll send it along
With love from me to you.

I’ve got everything that you want…”*

Sadly, despite the humongous bulk of absurdity commonly referred to as “qualifications” that you are required to provide in order to be “considered”, your judge and jury will instead solely rely on their own acute levels of indifference and narrow-mindedness to influence—at a bare minimum—your immediate future. This is typically discovered firsthand as your faith in the meaning of it all really begins to rupture:

“I tried to telephone,
They said you were not home,
That’s a lie.
‘Cause I know where you’ve been,
And I saw you walk in
Your door.
I nearly died!
I nearly died!
‘Cause you walked hand in hand
With another man in my place…

No reply.
No reply.”*

Because only under extraordinarily rare circumstances will acknowledgement of your efforts ever be made, and 19 times out of 20 those acknowledgements will be strikingly akin to drug-induced senselessness:

“I am the eggman,
They are the eggmen,
I am the walrus,
Goo goo g’joob,
Goo goo goo g’joob,
Goo goo g’joob,
Goo goo goo g’joob ga goo.
Ga-jooga jooga jooga!
Jooga! Jooga! Jooga!
Jooga jooga!
Jooga jooga!
Jooga jooga joo!”*

Recurring incidents of this sort of idiocy will painfully paddle away all of your remaining British Invasion optimism and, once you’ve suffered enough failures, even the pragmatism that eventually supersedes it. When that finally happens your attitude will rapidly regress through nearly 40 years’ worth of rock evolution to a medieval brutality best illuminated by the prophetic words of 21st century skald, Johan Hegg:

“You’ve ruled us for too long
Truth to you are lies to me
And your right is so wrong.

Moral preached by immortal fucks
All I feel is despise
Lie no more you fucking cunts
You tear me up inside.”*


*Obviously, I don’t claim copyright over the lyrics used here. And what’s more, I didn’t even get permission to use them. Talk about living on the edge.


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One Response to “Bastards of a Lying Breed; or I Don’t Know Why Human Resources Says Goodbye, I Say Hello”

  1. Allagash says:

    haha, the music quotes are a great addition! makes this article hilarious lol.

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