Posts Tagged ‘poop’

Slaughter the Parents, part 2

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

The hideous beast of a woman splayed the infants’ legs apart and scraped away at the mushy mess of fresh feces while the sick smell radiated outward, gagging those unfortunate enough to be …Hail onwards »

Crapping My Pants

Monday, June 15th, 2009

A dude just posted info about the American VikingBall League on my facebook page.

Someone actually finally literally combined hockey with Vikings.

Can only be found in Pittsburgh so far. They apparently play on fields and courts there instead of ice, but I think this concept would adapt well to New England wintertime pond hockey with pucks. Maybe they’d let the league expand to Boston. Any takers? Come on, I know there are like 3 of you out there who live in this area too!

Prudential Center Sicko

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

So, I had gone to drop a deuce the other day at the Prudential Center in Boston’s Back Bay neighborhood when a pervert stuck his head under the stall wall and looked up at me. I had been happily daydreaming about destructive medieval warfare and archaic Scandinavian woodcarving techniques …Hail onwards »

The Poetry of the Bladder

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

As recent events committed by certain, highly esteemed members of Scandinavian society have shown, urination can be a great form of revenge. By urinating on somebody and/or his or her possessions, you are effectively saying:

“Hey you! Get the fuck over here you fucking asshole! I fucking hate you and everything about you. I wish to choke your hopes and dreams on my smelly urine …Hail onwards »

Death Metal Recital

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

Recently, by means of succubine trickery and beguilement, I found myself haplessly stuck in the Middle of Nowhere, Vermont (population: insignificant) attending a ballet recital. For four countless hours I suffered through various stages of boredom and depression, flirted with insanity, and listened to the entire The Lion King soundtrack twice, because once apparently just wasn’t enough …Hail onwards »

Down with the Leprechauns!!! >:0

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Goddamn, I hate those fucking leprechauns. I always have and I always will; that’s just the way I am. There isn’t a single pro-leprechaun bone in my body. Some people call this blind hatred, but I say that’s bullshit, because, in my dreams, I’ve seen the leprechauns …Hail onwards »