Sagas of Pathetic and Banal Exploration

This is where I compile links to my chronicles of investigative journalism research into the lives of the modern vikings that have been published at various outposts around the world wound web.

So, if you’re looking to know more about the Norwegian whalers who turned merciless giftshop pillagers or Sweden’s last great plagiarizing skald with a drinking problem, please venture onwards and explore the links below! (Basically, these are early-version excepts from The Scandinavian Aggressors).

Rekindling the Varangian Flame, Part 1
Rekindling the Varangian Flame, Part 2
Experience the good vibes of the suicidal viking metal band, Varjagikaarti, and its members’ voyage deep into the land of the Rus.

Dream Hard On
Join drunken Swedish warrior-poet, Björn Svensson, as he struts around a rocky cove naked, bellowing fierce obscenities at the waves, and talking about Odin’s willy.

Self-Condemned in the Tunnelbana
Feel intimidated by Ingrid Törnblom as she discusses the history of her fierce Viking sisterhood that excelled so well in combat that it drew inevitable comparisons to the Spartans of ancient Greece, the samurai of feudal Japan, and the Jedi Knights of the Intergalactic Republic.

Fear and Loathing in Western Sweden
Learn about Björn Svensson’s hostile aggressions against the Little Mermaid statue in Copenhagen while he’s passed out on the deck of his fishing trawler.

Welcome to the Mead Hall
Join Trond “Troll-Breath” Trondsen, the Norwegian whaler who sacked Lindisfarne’s gift shop, for a feast in his mead hall. Originally published online at Word Riot, before it went down its own Hel-road.

Encounter with a Miscreant
Join Trond “Troll-Breath” Trondsen’s gang of Neo-Norse whalers for some good, old-fashioned bone-throwing fun and leprechaun prisoner shenanigans.