Posts Tagged ‘glory’

A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 2

Monday, November 28th, 2011

A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 2

In which Svein Forkbeard utterly dominates Ethelred the Unready.

A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 1

Monday, November 21st, 2011

A Short History of the Norse Conquest of England for Bostonians, Part 1

In which the Danes and English succeed very well in not getting along with one another whatsoever.

Victorious March!

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

I’m not sure whether this painting is saying, “We are coming to destroy everything in our path!” or “We have just destroyed everything in our path!”, but either way, if this isn’t a victorious march of some sort, then I don’t know what is. John Charles Dollman wasn’t dicking around when he painted these Vikings 100 years ago. He imbued them with noble glory, and that glory still lives on today, even though most people don’t even know it exists. There’s a lot to lament about in that statement, but rather than spiral downward into an eternal pit of despair, why don’t we take a look at another victorious march while we’re on that topic:

Or this one, which is what inspired me to post an entry relating to victorious marches today of all days anyway in the first place. It just goes to show, that in some cases, despair is not always eternal!

(I pilfered the photo from the Boston Globe’s honorable photo montage.)

Valentine’s Day Romance: Epic Norse Slaughter

Monday, February 14th, 2011

No, not that kind of romance. There are no hearts to be found here, unless you count the kind that have been brutally carved out of the chest cavity in the midst of unstoppable berserker rage. That’s right, we’re talking about the national romanticism kind of romance that was popular back in the late 1800s and the early 1900s.

One Norwegian guy, Gerhard Munthe, was pretty into Norse history back in those days and he glorified the epic naval Battle of Hjørungavåg in this mighty tapestry, now housed at Norway’s National Museum of Decorative Arts. Thousands of Norwegians and Jomsvikings were slaughtered and the sea off the coast of Sunnmøre turned red with their blood. It doesn’t get much more romantic than that.

Happy Up Helly Aa!

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

On the last Tuesday of every January, the honorable jarls up in Shetland celebrate the end of the yule season by setting everything on fire. It’s called Up Helly Aa and not only is it a glorious homage to Viking glory, but it’s also the biggest fire festival in Europe.

Unfortunately, I’m not cool enough to have actually been to Up Helly Aa myself, so I pilfered this photo from Millgaet Media instead. I think it’s an awesome photo and I’m jealous of whoever took it.

Welcome to the Mead Hall

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Welcome to the Mead Hall is a glorified/self-deprecating account of the first time I ever met Trond Troll-Breath. Published online by Word Riot, this marks the first time a literary entity has not completely blown off my research about the Modern Viking Movement. Hail to Word Riot!

Click here to read Welcome to the Mead Hall at www.wordriot.org. (Note to Norse nitpickers: the editor(s) changed “nithing” to “nothing” in the text, not me!…doesn’t really matter though since the meaning’s the same.)

But first, a short, highly educational video from Lasse Gjertsen that provides deep insight into Norwegian profanity:

Badass Viking Stained Glass

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Lo! And behold. …Hail onwards »

The Long Ships Have Come

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

The Volvo Ocean Race has arrived in Boston. It’s not exactly a Viking invasion, but pretty cool nonetheless, especially since Viking invasions don’t happen anymore. …Hail onwards »

The Poetry of the Bladder

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

As recent events committed by certain, highly esteemed members of Scandinavian society have shown, urination can be a great form of revenge. By urinating on somebody and/or his or her possessions, you are effectively saying:

“Hey you! Get the fuck over here you fucking asshole! I fucking hate you and everything about you. I wish to choke your hopes and dreams on my smelly urine …Hail onwards »

Unleash the Long Ships!

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

The Danes and Swedes are at it yet again, this time boasting their way towards mutual enmity over the glorious claim to “Capital of Scandinavia”, as reported by the English-language Swedish news site, The Local. The Swedes initiated the spat …Hail onwards »

Pure Nordic Hatred, part 2

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

So, picking up from where I left off last time…I would still like to attain more glory for myself. Or, to be more specific, any glory at all because right now I have none. I mean seriously, who wouldn’t want a nice, heaping helping of glorious glory? …Hail onwards »